Thursday, 30 December 2010

When Is Sexism Not Sexism?

The answer to that, of course, is when it is not.

Such as when an airline advertises fares "lower than Grandma's boobs" and is then forced to pull the offending advert from billboards after 'outraged locals' cry 'sexism'. The small facts, like the fact that 'Grandmas' and their boobs are not a sex, never seem to stand in the way of the self-righteous do they?

Note to advertisers: Don't be so quick to pander to the so-called 'outraged'. Sad cunts like Jacquetta Bell are not representative of the rest of us, they are just the empty cans rattling the most.

Note to the so-called 'outraged': Do just please fuck off!

Sexist enough for you, sad bastards?


Tuesday, 21 December 2010

Looking For Inspiration?

Then look no further.

Well I must say, that did bring a tear to the eye.

Monday, 20 December 2010

Topless Women To Fight Extremists

I had to check the date when I first found this article because I thought it was a leftover from last April Fools'. But no, it seems it's only a few weeks old and actually has nothing to do with April Fools' day which makes the article's headline of "Can Topless Women Keep Muslim Extremists Out of Denmark?" all the more fucking mind-boggling.

Peter Skaarup - foreign policy spokesman for the Danish People's Party - reckons that including footage of topless, Danish birds in videos that are used as part of an immigration test for potential citizens would help hammer home the point that Denmark is an open, free, booby-loving society and that hard-line Muslims may want to just fuck off and find somewhere else to invade.

Although Naser Khader - another Danish MP and founder of the Moderate Muslims movement - disagrees; "A pair of naked breasts is no protection against extremism...It's quite the opposite, fundamentalists are so obsessed with sex that they will be pouring in over the borders. Maybe we should try with naked pigs."

So there you have it, we now know the moderate Muslim's take on how to defeat the hardliners. Lure them in with naked honeys and then bomb them with naked pigs.
The ultimate booby-trap ! Don't think it would work? Then check out the destruction that a couple of naked pigs caused to the small town of Snohomish, Washington back in 2005.

'Your days are numbered Jihadist'


Wednesday, 15 December 2010

The All-Singing All-Dancing Fucktarded All-Stars

I thought Hummus was made from chickpeas but all I see are mungbeans.

Lots and lots of fucktarded, braindead, androgynous mungbeans singing and jumping and making complete cunts of themselves to the entire world, which of course also includes the Palestinians, most of whom probably wish this lot would just shut the fuck up and go have a wash.

Israelis and Palestinians take note - Whatever differences you lot have just get over them quick-smart so the rest of us aren't forced to endure anymore of this flashmob rubbish. It's all beginning to get a little out of hand.


UPDATE Oh fuck! Pause it every few seconds... It's fucking scary !

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

"The Red Cross Bans Christmas"

Not in the banned sense of course...
Just the politically correct banned-from-all-430-fundraising-shops sense.
Red Cross staff have been told to remove all sign of things Christmassy, like fat Santas and dwarves elves, trees and holly and of course all things Jesus Christ like, because they 'must not upset Moslems". Now Christians and Muslims are of course both offended, which is of course a completely normal day on planet Earth and should not leave you scratching your head in the slightest. Move along, nothing to see here. 

Sepp Blatter: No Sex For Gays At Qatar 2022

Chortle, chuckle, cackle -  this is going to get messy !

At a news conference in South Africa the president of FIFA was asked what advice he would give to gay football fans who want to head to Qatar in 2022, considering that homosexuality is illegal there and to engage in homosexual acts carries a pretty stiff penalty. After an uncomfortable pause and some giggles Blatter finally replied "I would say they should refrain from any sexual activities" and then went on to insist that discrimination would not be an issue in Qatar by 2022, saying "we are living in a world of freedom" and that "[In Qatar] it's another culture because it's another religion, but in football we have no boundaries. We open everything to everybody".

Fair enough, I suppose his advice on not engaging in homosexual activity over there could be simply taken as 'if that is the law in that country, then I would suggest anyone visiting that country obeys the law'. But it won't be taken like that now will it? Oh no, I can hear the gay rights groups jumping up and down already and if Peter Tatchell didn't have steam coming out of his ears after Russia were awarded 2018, well he fucking will when he hears this news. The other sound I can hear his Sepp Blatter trying to wriggle his fat arse out of the fine mess he's just gone and gotten himself into - The football world cup for Qatari oil, it must have seemed such an easy trade deal to pull off.
On his statement that discrimination won't exist in Qatar by 2022 and that we live in a world of freedom; I would suggest that he is living on another fucking planet if he really believes that. But as for " football we have no boundaries. We open everything to everybody"; well I'm sure there's a pun in there somewhere.

Monday, 13 December 2010

David Cameron - Two Faced To The Extreme.

Back in 2005, when David Cameron was just a lowly shadow education secretary, he made statements in which he, amongst other things, likened Islamic radicals to Nazis, called for Mosques to be regulated and also said that Britain should withdraw entirely from international human rights conventions if they prevent the deportation of Islamic radicals. The full text of that speech can be found here.

Then in May of 2007, after spending two days living with a Muslim family, Dave wrote an article in the Guardian under the headline 'What I learnt from my stay with a Muslim family' in which he stated "Not for the first time, I found myself thinking that it is mainstream Britain which needs to integrate more with the British Asian [Muslim] way of life, not the other way around".

Now in late 2010, with Dave holding the highest political post in the country, he is a signed up supporter of Unite Against Fascism, that mis-named group of far-left psychopaths, rabid, red communists and other assorted social misfits who, under the hammer and sickle banner, regularly engage in violent confrontation with the English Defence League, a patriotic street-protest group set up to do what his government and governments before his have failed to do and combat Islamic extremism in the UK.

Now how any Conservative leader can openly support communist riff-raff is simply fucking beyond me but is it possible that in 5 short years our Dave has changed his tune so much that he now sees Islamic extremists as not the enemy, but rather a community that needs protecting ? Or is it just that Dave is a two-faced cunt that will say anything to get into power ?
Well considering he has prior for not backing up "cast iron guarentees', I'm inclined to think it is the latter.

Oh and Mr Cameron, Islamic extremists aren't just like Nazis, at times they actually are Nazis.

No, not waiving. Just sieg-heiling.

News Shocker: Stockholm Bomber Lived In Britain!

It has now come out that Taimur Abdulwahab al-Abdaly, the suicide bomber who targeted Swedish Christmas shoppers on Saturday, has previously lived and studied in Britain and may have a wife and children that still live in Luton.

Well there's a fucking surprise ! All the more reason to get to Luton on the 5th of February next year.

Join The Anti-EU Campaign

They have planned it all along, let them know you've had enough.

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

WikiNicked: Assange Arrested

Julian Assange was arrested at 0930 this morning by British Police in relation to sexual assault claims filed in Sweden. Assange will have to appear before City of Westminster magistrates who will then decide if the warrant gives the go ahead for extradition.

Now if he is extradited to the States, then I wonder what's next for Mr Assange ? A US military court maybe, an all expenses paid, once in a lifetime, one-way trip to Guantanamo Bay or perhaps if he's really, really unlucky he'll even end up in one of Uncle Sam's Black Sites.

One things for sure though, one thing that the WikiLeaks founder needn't worry about is waterboarding.
I mean, there wouldn't really be much point now would there ? It's not as if he's ever resisted spilling the beans.

Monday, 6 December 2010

Julian Assange And His Wikileaks Nuclear Bomb

Julian Assange threatens to unleash a “thermonuclear device” of unedited government files if he is brought before authorities.

"True, This! Beneath the rule of men entirely great, the pen is mightier than the sword. Behold the arch-enchanters wand - itself a nothing. But taking sorcery from the master-hand to paralyse the Caesars and to strike the loud earth breathless!"


It's Not Racism It's Just That You're A Cunt

The mother of a student who has spent most of the year suspended has threatened to sue his school, saying they over-reacted to "trivial" incidents and alleging that the school has been racist and biased against her son from the outset.

Omar Olomi managed to get himself suspended on his very first day at school for changing out of uniform during recess and then refusing to attend student services. Since then Omar the innocent has also been suspended for intervening in an argument between a teacher and another student, arriving at school almost 4 hours late because he felt the need to get a fast-food breakfast beforehand, refusing to remove his hat during school assembly and then failing to attend student services and also for fighting.
But according to Omar's mummy these are all trivial incidents and the real reason her little angel has been suspended 5 times is because he is a Muslim from Pakistan.

No Ms Olomi, his religion and nationality have fuck all to do with it. You have brought up a little monster and it's nobody's fault but yours and his that his 11th year of schooling "has been destroyed" by repeated suspensions.
I'm not surprised you're trying to play the race card in suing the school and having the taxpayer foot the bill for your shitty parenting though, I bet little Omar has been driving you around the fucking bend with all this time off school, he sounds like a right little pain in the arse to have around the house and I bet that right now he's probably showing you his creative side by scrawling graffiti all over his bedroom walls before setting fire to the family dog and throwing it over the fence and into the neighbours' pool.
But at least he isn't destroying school property and setting fire to other students and that's all that matters.

'Why am I suspended from school ? All I did was chop the Principal's head off'

Sunday, 5 December 2010

That's How To Deal With Cutthroats

Pirates attempt to hijack Russian tanker, Russian Navy commandos free the tanker and it's crew then put pirates back on board their own ship which is rigged with explosives and blown to kingdom come.
That'll teach them.

Now before you start feeling sorry for these fuckers just remember they would use those assault rifles to murder without a second thought. Live by the sword, die by the sword.

Escalator Safety For Morons

In the run up to Christmas shopping mayhem, Myer stores in Australia have produced a pamphlet telling their customers how to ride safely on the store's escalators.
Fuck me ! First the government act as a nanny for us, now department stores feel the need.

The bright yellow pamphlets, available for morons to collect in every Myer store, contain such pearls of wisdom as:
  • Face the direction you are travelling.
  • Hold on to the black handrail.
  • Do not lean, stand upright and within the yellow guidelines.
  • Be careful of your apparel.
  • Step off escalator promptly; and
  • Do not attempt to ride a unicycle up or down the escalator.
OK, that last one was my addition but do people really need to be told how to use an escalator ? A wild monkey straight out of the jungle could figure it out in no time, surely.
If there really are dumb fuckers out there who need instructions on how to negotiate a task as simple as riding on an escalator then I'm guessing those people are also having someone dress them in the morning in which case they should be accompanied by a parent or carer when leaving the house. What a fucking waste of paper, I'm not surprised a Myer spokesman has refused to reveal the cost of producing the leaflet.

Sunday Morning Easy Listening On Groompy FM

Friday, 3 December 2010

Female One-Legged Cross-Dressing Gypsy Muslims

What is one to make of it all ?

One minute I'm told I can't even sneeze in the workplace in case I upset some female, one-legged, cross-dressing, gypsy, Muslim man. The next I'm being told that it's all their fault that I sneezed and that only losers get bullied in the workplace.  According to conflict resolution expert Gavan Podbury "Australians need to acquire conflict resolution skills and they need to get the motivation to use them."
I agree, when picked on I quickly get motivated to give out a look that says "I am about to push your eye balls into your fucking brain with my thumbs" and I find that works every time.

On top of that I hear that Human Services Minister Tanya Plibersek is hunting a Christmas Grinch who wrote a memo suggesting Centrelink and Medicare offices should not display nativity scenes at Christmas.
"I have ordered that the Grinch be found and counselled" says Minister Plibersek. Well that shouldn't be too fucking hard, just look at the top of the memo and get their name you incompetent cow ! But incompetence isn't the point I'm trying to make here, the point I'm trying to make is one about mixed signals and in this case the mixed signals are coming from the fact that it is usually government offices, such as Centrelink and Medicare, that are at the forefront of banning all things Christmas. Now, they seem to have changed tack and become the defenders of it.

I'm so very confused now.

I couldn't find a picture of a female, one-legged, cross-dressing, gypsy, Muslim man.
So here is a picture of some Spirochete instead. Close enough.

The Nanny State Reaches Its Climax

Big tip of the hat to XD who left the link in a comment.

Thursday, 2 December 2010

And The Winners Are... Russia and Qatar.

Russia and Qatar !!! What the fuck !

Fuck me sideways I can smell the corruption from here.
No hang on a minute that's not corruption I smell, that's Europe's now assured supplies of gas and oil.

"Hello Mr Blatter, I am from the Russian delegation".

Telling It Like It Is

Judging by this video it looks as though Austrian MP Ewald Stadler has had more than enough of the, as he calls it, "one-way street tolerance babble".
He's not the only one, I'm sure.

"I am telling you, this country is not exclusively made up of tolerance romantics. There are also people sick and tired of the one-way street tolerance babble which you feed on... And I have to tell you, a few people in politics will not accept this and the voters outside do not accept it at all, I can tell you that for sure".
Austrian MP Ewald Stadler to Turkish Ambassador, Ecvet Tezcan.

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

The Gods Of The Moonbats Are Hungry

About 1500 years ago the Maya civilisation was at it's peak. It was also busy sacrificing it's citizens to the Gods. Atop a pyramid, much like the one pictured below, a priest would cut the unlucky offering's chest open and tear out their heart, holding it up to the Gods in a vain attempt to curry favour with them.
Most people now know this to be a futile exercise in complete and utter fucking insanity. Most people, but not all. Because with the 2010 UN climate-treaty talks now underway in Cancun, Mexico - right smack bang in the middle of the ancient Maya empire - it would seem that some people still just don't get it.

The Temple of Moonbattery. Host to the 2010 UN Climate-Treaty Talks.

It should be noted that there is evidence that the demise of the Maya came about due to them exhausting their agricultural potential and overhunting. Some scholars have also recently theorized that an intense 200 year drought led to the collapse of Maya civilization. No one has yet theorised that this drought, or the ultimate demise of the Maya, came about due to their overuse of gas-guzzling automobiles, penchant for cheap air travel or their inability to implement carbon taxes, yet.

UPDATE - 06/12/10
OK, I obviously involved just a hint of satire in the above post. At least I thought I did until I read that Christiana Figueres, executive secretary of the U.N. Framework Convention on Climate Change, invoked Ixchel, an ancient Maya Moon-God, in her opening statement to delegates. 

"May she inspire you... because today, you are gathered in Cancun to weave together the elements of a solid response to climate change, using both reason and creativity as your tools." Bold italics added by me.

Now back in the heyday of the Maya empire a young woman would be chosen to be sacrificed by the priests as an offering to Ixchel. She would then be flayed and her skin worn by a man who sat at a loom and pretended to weave, while around him other craftsmen danced, dressed as animals. The ceremony was then topped off with a bit of good old-fashioned bloodletting.

The United Nations climate change people - What a bunch of fucking nut-jobs !

H/T -

The Euro: "A Big Floppy Penis And Testicles"

You have to love the first comment on an article about the survival of the Euro

Well that's a good a reason as any to ditch it !

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Gun Owners Raise Objections To Weapons Act

'Restrict toy guns' and 'allow religious exemptions for the possession of knives'?
Because toy guns are infinitely more dangerous than real knives, right ?

The EDL Are Clearly Racist

As you may garner from the picture below.

Young man,
I know not who you are, nor from whence you once came. But my hat is off to you, Sir.
Stay the course, stay strong, you'll do alright.

Monday, 29 November 2010

"Political Correctness Gone Mad"... Again

Say the West Australian Police Officers' Union

Ha Ha Ha, fucking laugh out loud ! WA Plod can no longer use details such as a suspect's nationality, race or even religion when seeking help from the public in identifying a suspect !
Instead, they have been told to say only - wait for it, wait for it - if the person is light or dark skinned.

Jesus monkey-balls fucking Christ and then some, what a complete head fuck ! I thought I left all this PC crap behind me when I left the UK, but apparently not, because the WA Equal Opportunities Commission - aka Jobsworths United - says the ban was introduced six months ago after complaints that using ethnic descriptions was racist. Silly me, I understand that using ethnic terms in a derogatory sense can be racist but I was unaware that to use ethnic terms was racist, full stop.

One not-too-happy WA Copper points out the obvious and states "There is a big difference between a dark-skinned person being Aboriginal or African. And if we are looking for an Asian person-of-interest it's a bit narrow to describe them as simply having fair skin and dark hair." But Maria Saraceni, one of the three Mungbeans who are responsible for implementing this, reckons "If police say they are looking for an Indian, how would the public know to distinguish between an Indian and a Pakistani ?"
Err, OK, so the police now say 'the suspect is fair skinned' but surely by Mungbean logic this could cause offence to all fair skinned people, or is it 'the suspect is dark skinned' which, also by Mungbean logic, could cause offence to all dark skinned people ?
Oh fuck, I'm confused !

And it seems I'm not the only one as some of the comments below would show.

Forrest Gump of Perth Posted at 6:58 PM November 27, 2010
This is madness at the extreme. Police are not stupid, they are culturally aware and do know the difference between an African, Aboriginal and an Asian. The issue here is to allow the police to correctly identify the suspect and to alert the public that there exists a risk. What can we expect next? The same set of guidelines appliced to sex offenders? I can see that one coming. The police not being permitted to identify the gender of an supsect since "it might send out the wrong message" Can you imagine the news report... "Attention all viewers. The police advise that a person (omit Male/Female since that is considered sexist) has commited sexual assault... The person that police are seeking has 2 arms, 2 legs, a mouth and a p3nis. Police will not confirm or deny that the suspect is a male or Female..."

gus Posted at 7:07 PM November 27, 2010
The UK, France, The Netherlands, Italy, Spain, etc all thought this was a good idea too..fill their country with third world immigrants then change every law to favour the immigrants. Oh yes and those same countries are hardly worth living in if you are not a third world immigrant too. But why should we learn from the mistakes of others when we can make worse mistakes ourselves??

K of Alfred Cove Posted at 7:32 PM November 27, 2010
...since when is FACT racist?

Person Posted at 8:03 PM November 27, 2010
It should also be banned to refer to one's sex. To say they are hunting for a male bank robber for example infers all males are bank robbers. They should just say they are 'hunting for a person', and not mention the crime at all. .. Sound ridiculous? .. Soon it will be law... hehe

Common Sense Posted at 8:21 PM November 27, 2010
This sure is PC gone too far...I can see why the Multicultural Council is pushing for awareness within the community that we're ALL Australians...however, the Law Enforcement Agencies (local and federal) should do everything they can to ease or aid their apprehension of criminals, using any kind of description that will help them do their job. However, it must be said...I'm a true blue the place, pay every cent of due taxes, volunteer in the community, shed a tear or two when we win a medal at the Games and our song starts to play...BUT...people still ask me "where are you from originally?" Why? Because I'm of full-blood Chinese descent. I've got a neighbour who has been in Australia for 15 years, still doesn't have an Australian citizenship, has been out of work and on the dole a lot, has a faint hint of an accent but nobody ever asks him where's he's from orginally because he's widely accepted as an Aussie...why? He's got blonde hair and blue eyes. So...let's cut the PC crap and call a spade a spade...there's a huge redneck element in Australia that we need to eradicate, but please...let the coppers do their job.

Mr Carrot Top of Parliament House Posted at 9:25 PM November 27, 2010
Everyone close their eyes and describe yourself out loud. I am a ranga with freckles fair skin red nose and wear big shoes and waste a lot of time talking crap. I am a clown you say. Nope I work for the WA government and come up with funny policies that makes everyone laugh.

down the gurgler Posted at 9:45 PM November 27, 2010
goodbye crime stoppers

Oaklegs Posted at 9:47 PM November 27, 2010
Why not use the British system, it seemed to work quite well on 'The Bill'. e.g. The IC codes are: IC1 – White person IC2 – Mediterranean person IC3 – African/Caribbean person IC4 – Pakistani,Indian, Nepalese, Maldivian, Sri Lankan, Bangladeshi, or any other (South) Asian person IC5 – Chinese, Japanese, or South-East Asian person IC6 – Arabic, Egyptian,Tunisian,Algerian or Maghreb person IC9 – Roma, Romany, or Gypsy person IC0 – Origin unknown maybe aboriginal.

(What... The... Fuck... Is... All... That... About ???)

space cadet of perth Posted at 11:02 PM November 27, 2010
Believe me if i have to dedscribe an offender to the relevant authorities i will do so in no uncertain terms,if they're purple with pink polka dots that's how they will be described to the police,so whats the problem.

Keith from Perth of perth Posted at 12:28 AM Today
Lets use commonsense if you are chinese and born in Australia you are Australian and I welcome you, but fair go if you committed a crime the description would be asian appearance,or if skin brown black or white that is the colour not dark, I worked on BOUGAINVILLE ISLAND and they are black as coal and proud of it and very nice people but their description is black, there is good and bad in all races of people but to catch criminals a proper description should be given and not considered being rasist.

Let the anarchy begin Posted at 12:49 AM November 28, 2010
Police probably shouldn't be showing images of suspects in hope of identifying them either, this could cause the suspect's ethnicity to be identified. The media shouldn't be allowed to film outside any court as this will identify people who may be there facing criminal charges. I hope they blur or pixilate images of suspect or offenders before airing them on TV from now on. I will not be happy if I see a 'light skinned person'(formerly caucasian or asian) or a 'dark skinned person'(formerly aboriginal, african, indian, pakistani, middle eastern, Maori, samoan or very tanned caucasians/asians) put on TV as a suspect in a crime or an identified offender without the image being blurred or pixilated. I think watching an entire news report may hurt your eyes, having to watch majority of the report pixelated. At least the government will achieve it's objective of reducing the court work load and prison capacity, can't lock them up if you can't catch them.

Sunstorm of Perth Posted at 2:32 AM November 28, 2010
The PC crowd would rather have violent criminals run loose than 'enforce stereotypes'. Wonder what the crime rates are like in the suburbs they live in....

Longdonkey19 of Reality World Posted at 8:11 PM November 28, 2010
this is insane. what next? I'm looking for a person...they have clothes and a hat. So who cares if someone can't tell between a pakistani or an indian? they're the same friggin race for crying out loud. Just different nationalities. Only separated by religious differences. If i say indian looking at least they know what to look for. if he's actually pakistani makes no difference. If I said someone looked Yugoslav would all white people be offended? maybe croats and serbs but again they are the same race. Their own prejudices isn't my fault. WHAT A JOKE!!!!

And my personal favourite...

Chief Wiggum Posted at 4:22 PM November 28, 2010
Suspect is HATLESS, repeat HATLESS!

Now, continuing with this warped logic of upside-down-topsy-turvyness, I will give you all a history lesson or two as will be taught in the year 2020, if I may.
WWII - A Light skinned country invaded a neighboring country, also inhabited by light skinned people, which caused several other light-skinned nations to declare war on that country. Eventually more countries became involved with light and dark skinned people all going at at it.
Moon Landing - A nation of light skins was in a race with another nation of light skins to be the first to land on the moon, the light skins won.
Confused? Yep, me too. But we're not nearly as confused as the jobsworths that keep coming up with these half-baked ideas simply as a means to keep themselves employed in their non-jobs.

Rant, over.

Some Mungbeans, busy conjuring up their next mind-boggling social-engineering experiment.

Things That Make You Go 'Hmmm'

Bradford and Rochdale, England, Yesterday. In case you were wondering 'Eid' is the Islamic festival of Eid al-Adha - which marks Abraham’s apparent willingness to sacrifice his son to an apparent God - and it passed on the 16th of this month. Still, no time like the present for the Dhimmis to display their diverse, multicultural, politically correct credentials.

Full story over at Un:dhimmi

Wikileaks Under Attack

Browse the database at The Guardian


The Saudi King's advice for Obama.
"When asked what advice he had for President Obama, the King said he had 'one request': that it was 'critically important to restore America's credibility' in the world".
OK. When you're getting PR tips from the ruler of that nation, something, somewhere has gone very, very wrong.

A glimpse into Libyan leader Qadhafi's eccentricities, over at The Red Rag. Where we hear all about Qadhafi's voluptuous, blonde, Ukrainian nurse, Galyna Kolotnytska.

Does Turkey really want to "take back Andalusia and avenge the defeat at the siege of Vienna in 1683" ?

The Daily Mail reveal the Americans think "Ahmadinejad is like Hitler", Kim Jong-il is "a flabby old chap", Sarkozy is "the Emperor with no clothes" and Russian President, Dmitry Medvedev "plays Robin to Putin's Batman". Ouch !

Saturday, 27 November 2010

Stop Eating And Run Around

The West Australian State Government will spend more than $11 million of taxpayer's money, over the next three years, rebranding its anti-obesity health campaigns, after concerns too many messages and logos are confusing people.

Well with slogans such as 'Go for 2&5', 'Find Thirty Every Day' and 'Draw the Line', I'm not fucking surprised ! Respectively, they sound like slogans from a Noel Edmonds themed game-show, an average smokers' day and a fucking Johnny Cash song.

An internal Health Department document is calling for expressions of interest from non-government agencies to run a $9.1 million Healthy Living Program and $2.25 million Food Literacy program to help people understand good nutrition.

Ok, let me help.

Eat healthily. When nearing what you gluttons consider to be full, stop. Then run around a little bit you fat bastards. Repeat, sparingly. And for fuck's sake, stop giving the state reason to interfere in others' lives !

“If people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny.”

Thomas Jefferson.

Hoping And Praying The Euro Project Is Destroyed

"If you rob people of their identity, if you rob them of their democracy, then all they have left is Nationalism and violence. I can only hope and pray that the Euro project is destroyed by the markets before that really happens". Nigel Farage MEP

Notes From The Roads Of Yesteryear. I

The first of a collection of essays and emails, that I had since forgotten I ever wrote, from my time travelling the world a few years back. Completely un-edited, only the names have been censored to protect the guilty.


Last night, I was in a car, on the way home from a nightclub, and I almost ran over some drunk in the middle of the road. Clipped him with the driver's side wing mirror.

Two nights ago I was at a crazy house party in Manchester, when the alcohol ran dry. Me and my cousin fixed the problem by raiding the hosts parents' wine collection.

Last weekend I was on my way to an illegal rave in London when a girl, whom my friend had introduced me to earlier in the day, grabbed my hand and said "forget this party, I want you to come home and fuck me". I did.

One week ago my pants were around my ankles as I did the walk of shame after being "pants-downed" by some Victorian junior pool champ at the Generator Hostel in London.

Two weeks ago my pants were around my ankles as I did the walk of shame after being "pants-downed" by some random girl playing pool at the Generator Hostel in Berlin. That morning a few of us were smoking pot and doing lines off the breakfast tables while the hostel staff cooked breakfast.

Two nights before that ***** shagged a Kiwi girl while ******* "tried to sleep" on the bunk above. The next night I shagged the Kiwi bird's German friend on *****'s bed.

Before we left London for Berlin, I almost talked my way into the pants of a drunk Easyjet hostess in a hotel bar, not so easy after all. The night before that my wallet was stolen from a hostel. Two weeks before that some street urchins tried to mug me and my mate in London. They got fuck all.

Five days before that I was walking around the Colosseum, in Rome. The day before that I was standing inside Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel. Two days before that I was on top of a volcano in Naples. The day after that I was touring the ancient city that that volcano destroyed.

The country before that I stayed at a hostel called the Pink Palace. I have never seen so many drunk women, willing to get naked, in all my life.

The country before that I was working as a barman inside a bar that was inside a cave.

Two weeks before that I took the war medals of a long dead ancestor to the British and Commonwealth war memorial that bears his name at Cape Helles, Turkey. The day after that I attended the ANZAC Dawn Service at ANZAC Cove Gallipoli.

The country before that a crazy bitch who worked in a sandwich shop lost the plot because ***** and I ordered in English not Greek. Fucking mole !

The country before that a Chinese waitress was kind enough to teach me how to by a train ticket because I was drunk, alone and couldn't read the Chinese language instructions in the Hong Kong subway. There may or may not have been English instructions, I'll never know.

Twenty-four hours before that I was saying goodbye to friends and family in Australia.

A week or so before that I bought my ticket for this world trip.

Before that I was seriously considering taking out a loan and buying a house.

In an hour or so I will be on a train heading into Manchester to meet *****, ******* and *** when they arrive from London.

Next week my cousin and I are flying to Ireland where I will go and visit an old high school friend of mine.

In a few months I will be flying into Beirut, Lebanon. From there I will somehow make my way to Cairo via Syria, Jordan and Israel.

Before that, I will travel through Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium, the top of France and hopefully some Eastern Bloc countries. I will also, most likely, throw up on myself or somebody else while drinking at the Oktoberfest in Munich.

In a year, maybe two, I will be flying into Sydney. I could be, at the oldest, 27 years old. I left Australia aged 24.

Good Times.

Friday, 26 November 2010

About Bloody Time !

I appreciate this is yesterday's news but I think it's damn good news and worth repeating, because finally a British newspaper has grown a pair and called for Britain to withdraw from the EU superstate.

To quote from their article, the Daily Express are saying; "From this day forth our energies will be directed to furthering the cause of those who believe Britain is Better Off Out".
Credit where credit is due and my opinion of the British press, this particular rag at least, has gone up a little. On a scale of 0 - 10 it is now a solid 1.

The Express is also gathering names for an online petition, to be sent to the clowns sock puppets we call our government, and that petition can be found here.

Other anti-EU sources can be found at A Case For TreasonHave You Say and also over at EU Referendum Campaign, where you can have a giggle at Jon Gaunt's ugly addorable little mug.
If you've got a bit more spunk than it takes to simply sign petitions then you can also get writing to your MP and your MEP.
Hell, why not go the whole hog and report the crime of treason to your local plod or even write to the Queen ? Don't expect a reply from Her Majesty though, one of her lackeys will do that.

Her Majesty The Queen
Buckingham Palace
London       SW1A 1AA
United Kingdom

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Obama's Granny Prays He Will Convert To Islam

Now I personally have slight suspicions - as do 1 in 5 of his employers - that our Bazza already is of the Islamic faith.
But either way, isn't it sweet that his Granny Omar, who has just returned from Saudi Arabia after performing the Hajj to Mecca and throwing rocks at Satan and stuff like that, prays that the leader of the world's current superpower will convert to Islam. Because that's just what the world needs right now. Right ?
Forget Where's Wally, let's play Where's Obama's Granny

Lack Of Blogging

Anyone who gives a fuck cares may have noticed that Groompy Tom has been more than a little lazy with his blogging as of late. This being due to the fact of having to do that thing that we all fucking hate and move house.

Not just any old move though, oh no, not the type of move where you call in a favour from your mate with a van and ask them if they'd mind having you pile all your worldly possessions into it and having them drive you to the next suburb or state. No this was a move of biblical proportions, my worldly possessions shall be arriving by sea and only God knows when exactly and the total distance covered was some 14000km as the crow flies.
But crows don't take passengers so I went by Singapore Airlines. This added a bit more to it, although I won't complain 'cause crows don't have pretty girls serving an endless supply of in-flight drinks, nor do they have TVs built into headrests on which you can watch all the latest movies and play games and shit like that.
In fact all crows have is fleas and lice and they tend to have their heads buried in dead things all day.  Singapore Airlines 1 - 0 Crows.

But time and tide wait for no man and this world of sheer madness continued to turn in my absence.

Students tearing up London, smashing up shit at a cost to the hard up taxpayer, screaming for money that simply isn't there. Go ask Labour where it all went you thick little cunts, or are you scared to bite the only hand that will feed you ?
Islamists tearing up the west, using their democratic right to protest to demand an end to the democratic right to protest and the introduction of their beloved Sharia. Yep, their fucking priceless alright ! Don't you just feel so 'enriched' by their presence ?
The Grumpy Old Twat has a good vid' up, just in case you've missed the contribution these kind gentlemen bring to our cities.
And Dark Lochnagar also has a real eye opener of a post up, a story about how some Taliban, busy as they are banning the flying of kites and leering at dancing boys, find the time to drive minicabs in the UK. How very community spirited of them.
In fact there are plenty of good reads to be found in the blog roll just down there and to the right a bit on your screen somewhere. Why not go and take a look ? They're constantly updated by other bloggers who are still hard at it while I sort my shit out  sober up  get my act together  unpack my things and settle in.
But please, do be warned, some of them may raise your blood pressure to levels you thought weren't possible and you may need a few stiff drinks when your done.

Last but certainly not least, I notice that Sir Olly Cromwell has had a stroke of pure genius in deciding to run for London Mayor in 2012.
His campaign looks to be one of civil disobedience and it's slogan ? 'Starving The London Beast' !
Well done that man. Why not pop over to the campaign site and have a little gander for yourselves ?

Friday, 29 October 2010

EU Budget Increase: Numbers Hiding A Fact

5.9% or 2.9% ?

Who fucking cares ? It's still 100% treason.

The Religion Of Peace... And Anarchy From Your Penis !

So you jet off to the Maldives for your dream wedding.

You wouldn't expect to me insulted at the alter, would you ?
You wouldn't expect to be called an infidel swine and told that "from your penis may come anarchy" now would you ?

Well no, not if you were completely ignorant about the teachings of Islam you wouldn't.

Just like this, blissfully unaware Bride and Groom.

Watch and learn.

There, now you know why Achmed the dead terrorist and his mates are always giggling when you visit their kebab shop.

Monday, 25 October 2010

OK, Who's The Sicko Out There ?

Come on, fess up. Who the hell was it ?

Who was the sick motherfucker who came to this blog after doing a search for "houres fuck humon" ?

You were looking for 'horses' and 'humans' weren't you ?

Well you'll find none of that sort of thing here, you sick and twisted individual.

Hang on a fucking minute... Why were you even directed here ?


Friday, 22 October 2010

Why Do Great Nations Fail ?

Because they turn their backs on the principles that made them great.

H/T - The Taxpayers' Alliance

Thursday, 21 October 2010

Thou Shalt Fear Thy Children

Or so say Enfield Borough Council.

The excellent Big Brother Watch are reporting that Schoolchildren in Enfield are following in the footsteps of their comrades over in Medway - the little tikes that brought us 'ciggybusters' - and continuing the proud tradition of the Spies.

"Nearly all children nowadays were horrible. What was worst of all was that by means of such organizations as the Spies they were systematically turned into ungovernable little savages, and yet this produced in them no tendency whatever to rebel against the discipline of the Party. On the contrary, they adored the Party and everything connected with it... All their ferocity was turned outwards, against the enemies of the State..." - George Orwell, 1984.

 If the thought of 8 year olds watching your every move, reporting you to the Stasi should you happen to step out of line, sends a shiver up your spine, then I suggest you read no further. However, if you can stomach it, I suggest you read the full report about Enfield's "Eco-Detectives", here. Then check out the Eco-Detective website, here.
One of the Eco-Detectives, pointing the Stasi in the direction of a wrongdoer.

Manchester Evening News: Mouthpiece Of The Mungbeans

The Manchester Evening News - rag of choice for the discerning, mungbean Marxist and northern Jihadist - is reporting that "shocking footage" has emerged of an - ahem - antifascist protester copping one in the jaw from a member of the Police' Tactical Aid Unit. 63 yr old Alan Clough was originally facing charges relating to a public order offence, after hooking up with other members of Unite Against Fascism and showing of his 'antifascist' credentials by attacking police in response to an English Defence League rally in Bolton earlier this year, but these charges have now been dropped.
Now it goes without saying that the video shows the blow to be unwarranted, but I wonder if the MEN would be so excited about presenting this news if Mr Clough had been a member of the EDL instead of Unwashed And Feral ?
No, I'm just being silly now. I don't wonder at all, I fucking know they wouldn't be reporting it and if they were they'd be up in arms about the charges being dropped. Such is the quality of unbiased reporting the MEN is so famous for.

 See the full report in every Mancunian Communist's favourite rag here.

Now then, Mr Clough, you see that fella standing over your left shoulder in the video ? Yes, that's the one, the Anjem Choudary lookalike. What's the bet he's one of them 'peaceful Muslims' living here in the UK that also happen to be donating to those kiddie-fiddling women-fearing no-kite-flying fuckers of the Taliban every time he goes to Mosque, as reported here ? Strange company you keep Mr Clough, strange company indeed.

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

Someone Is Telling Porkies...

... About the scale of the UK's national debt and my money is on that someone not being the Taxpayer's Alliance.
Full report

Monday, 18 October 2010

Stating The Bleeding Obvious

Well it's finally struck a western leader that the multicultural utopia is nothing more than a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

Multiculturalism has failed ? Oh you fucking reckon ?

Friday, 15 October 2010

Ask The Right Questions...

Spotted in the comments section on the Sky News site, where Sky were reporting on the 5 key questions to be answered at the inquest into the July 7th 2005 Jihad attacks in London.

1. Were emergency services quick enough to respond?
2. What was found at the blast sites?
3. Did the bombers operate alone?
4. What did authorities know about the bombers before the attacks?
5. Could the attacks have been prevented?

And, courtesy of one Sky News reader who knows the right questions to the correct answers...

Well done that man.

Freak Off The Week VI

This week's freak comes from the good old US of A.
Land of the freaks and home of the brave.

The Daily Hate Mail, chortle, chortle, is casually reporting that "a U.S. judge is under investigation for allegedly filming herself in court in an attempt to land a starring role on a reality show".

What is the allure of this insanity known by the misnomer of 'reality stardom' these days ? What is it, what does it have,  that draws in freaks like a flame draws in moths ? Please tell me, I am somewhat in the dark on this one. How does it seem even remotely appealing to a successful career woman such as Superior Court Judge DeAnn Salcido ? Fucked if I know.

But anyway, Salcido is accused of filming the goings on that were going on in 'her' courtroom, without telling the defendants they were being taped. In one of the cases, Salcido thought it camera savvy to ask a defendant if he was born in 1980, after he responded 'yes,' the soon-to-be star told him "You look older than me. That's what smoking will do to you". In other cases the fame-hungry mole told defendants she would 'slam them like tidal waves' - Tidal waves ? Exactly how someone goes about slamming another like a tidal wave is fucking mystery to me. Any ideas ? - and also threatened some with jail time if they drank the wrong type of beer, 'Budweiser instead of Heineken' to be exact.
The judge later passed her cinematic efforts to a Hollywood - ahem - lawyer in the hope it would land her a show as a TV judge, as if one wasn't one too fucking many.

My good lady, you are a Superior Court judge for crying out loud, you have achieved an office that is far beyond the comprehension of your average reality TV star ! You are not some big-titted, z-list celebrity bimbo or some acne-faced, teenage Michael Jackson wannabe and you are definitely not George Galloway.
Reality TV is not for you... Freak !

Look into my eyes and listen, bitch ! There is room for only one.

Oh, and Budweiser and Heineken are both shit beers so no dreaming of a future in the beer-tasting business, Salcido.
That's my dream, get your own.

Sunday, 10 October 2010

Orwell Was Right.

Proof !

The Fucking Sky Is Falling Down !!!

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real 10:10 fuckwitts, man made climate change drones and other assorted sheep people   people , living or dead, is purely coincidental.

The fucking sky is falling !!!

Chicken Little, Drakey Lakey, Ducky Lucky, Goosey Loosey, Turkey Lurkey, Henny Penny, 10:10. Twats!

Saturday, 9 October 2010

Complete And Utter Backwards Fuckwittery

So the English Defence League are in Leicester, exercising their right to protest against Islam today.

You're the home secretary, Theresa May-a-thousand-fleas-from-a-camels-arse-infest-your-home, the local politically-correct ACPO asswipe, a frothing-at-the-mouth red or some clueless Islamophile.

What to do ? What to do ?

Oh I know. Tell the good people of Leicester not to exercise their right to counter protest.
Instead, ask Hopeless Hate or Unwashed And Feral or some other such motley crew of braindead reds to organise them some commie, green-themed, multi-culti, love and peace and mungbeans festival by the name of  'We are one Leicester' the following day.
Then show them all how totally fucking lobotomized you really are by fitting new, green coloured bulbs to all the streetlights and then turning them all on in an effort to save the world.

'Ooooh look ! Green streetlights, they'll be sure to stop the rampant rise of Islamofascism in the UK'

What a bunch of silly cunts.

UPDATE                      Looks like the coloured light bulb idea failed.

War is coming. Sad but true.

10th Of The 10th, 2010... What Will You Be Doing ?

I'll be fighting these scaremongering, opportunistic, evil fuckers

Help out with the war effort here

Thursday, 7 October 2010

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Fecal-Electric Power... Brown Energy !

'Human waste to be used to power homes in the UK'.

When I first read that headline I was envisioning a giant fecal-electric plant to be built underneath that pure, untapped reservoir of shit that is the House of Commons.
All the bullshit would filter down from above, to be piped through an extensive network of tunnels, leading to numerous turbines similar to those used in America's Hoover dam - although much larger of course in order to harness the much larger volumes involved - where it would then be turned into electricity to power my laptop. But that was my imagination running away from me again.

Brown energy... It's a load of shit alright, though not quite on the scale of green energy.

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

Sack The Fucking Lot Of Em !

That's how I felt about every Transport For London employee about an hour or so ago.

This morning I was ranting and raving about how I hoped the children of TFL employees would return from school today covered in head and/or pubic lice, that would then go on to infest their entire house.
But now that I've made it home, now that I've a refreshing beer in hand, now that the fucking red mist has finally cleared. I see that it's not TFL and their employees as a whole that deserve the contents of my spleen to be vented in their general direction.
It isn't the fault of  bus driver, who refused to let me and many others on, as her bus was already resembling a double-decker tin of sardine-like humans, that I was wishing she fall victim to some previously unknown venereal disease. Nor was it the fault of the high-viz chap standing outside Hatton Cross station, that he was surrounded and being harangued by one hundred and one irate, to the point of foaming around the mouth, commuters.
In fact, it's not even the whole of the unions that organised this strike that deserve the rage of London's commuting public. It is apparently only 1 in 3 balloted members of said unions, blindly following the orders of their commie leaders, that I should be wanting to have all of the commuting public of London's shit fall on from a fucking great height.
To be precise, it is the two filthy, pig-troughing fat-bastards running the RMT and TSSA unions that deserve to have every single person affected by today's strikes, line up and take turns to shag their arses.

Now I see that that curse should be reserved for Bob Crow and Gerry Doherty.

A pox on both your houses you Marxist bastards !

Saturday, 2 October 2010

Freak of the Week V

The little pig that could.

I think this just may be my favourite animal... ever.
The potential to offend is strong in this one.

Human Bombs For Retarded Ideologies

Haven't we had enough of that bollocks already ? Does the world really need any more ?

Well yes apparently it does, because on the day that Bin Laden says that climate change concerns him - well if I didn't think him mad I do now - he has released a new video threatening to unleash a new wave of human bombs into the west, a new wave of terror to punish the west for it's repeated insults to Allah's green earth and for not succeeding at Copenhagen.
Well no, not really. But a video has been unleashed upon the west and it is a video that the great, filthy wizard himself would surely approve of.

The odorous filth below that gives us yet another opportunity to glimpse into the minds of madness.
Into the minds of those who will not discuss. Who will not reason, debate or even argue with those of a differing opinion. A different point of view on what is quite an important subject (sound familiar). Into the minds of those who will, instead, make a movie showing their detractors being killed.

Fucking psycho much ?

And that isn't just some tacky, half-arsed glued-together YouTube vid is it. It's actually quite good, turn the volume off and I could watch it again and again and again. In fact I'm sure lots of people will indeed watch it again and again. But some will watch it with the volume up, most probably the ones being taught by that perfect fucking stereotype of a trendy teacher at the start. Ending up like this little, hate-filled drone of the new ages by the end.

Future psycho, no question.

"The number of victims caused by climate change is very big... bigger than the victims of wars". Osama bin Laden.

Friday, 1 October 2010

They Never Asked

I spied this over on the EDL facebook page and I will say here what I said there.

If you personally want to know what this fella says he doesn't, at about 1:20, then try out But I warn you it is addictive.
As for the rest of the vid, I offer no advice. Digest it as you will.
At about 4:40 it had me thinking of the EU... fuckers.

The End Of The Council Pravda ?

I seriously doubt it.

But still, good news over the London borough of Hammersmith & Fulham way, with the announcement that H&F News shall "disappear in its current format and will be replaced by a new as yet unnamed local newspaper with guaranteed editorial independence".
Good news and just one day after our - no not 'the', 'our' fucking - Government announced a crackdown on free council papers which compete with independent local press too. Eric Pickles our secretary of communities said just yesterday that he was gonna put a stop to our money being spent on "frivolous town hall propaganda papers".
Even more good news in that neighbouring Hounslow Council has not produced a magazine since March and that the future another of H&F's neighbours, Ealing's mouthpiece, "is uncertain".

All good news huh ?

Well actually no, no it bloody ain't, because if you take the time to read the sources of my musings, you'll see that the fuckers that run these council rags at present aren't giving up without a fight and I just know, just fucking know that we'll be stuck with the masses being fed shite paid for by themselves for a long time yet.

Look at that cover of Ealing's rag will you. 
Do we need their propaganda to tell us our money is being spent on 'improvemnet works' or works in progress ? We fucking know that ! We fucking know that cause we see 'em ripping up the same stretches of tarmac over and over and over a-fucking-gain, in a display of either the obvious protection of their budgets or their sheer bloody incompetence.

Thursday, 30 September 2010

Fuck Off Then Take Two Steps Back

Gamblers to be fingerprinted.
With an Orwellian-sounding head-fuck of an idea that goes by the name of  "mandatory pre-commitment", the Prime Minister of Australia - a leader who leads with the flimsiest of mandates - is  proposing to have a rather large number of Australians submit to the carrying of their fingerprints on a microchip, simply to fulfil  a deal with a single independent.

In an an effort to see many Australians unable to spend the money that they themselves have earned, in a manner that they themselves see fit, 'mandatory pre-commitment' has been set a target date for implementation of 2014. This will require those Australians who wish to partake in the legal activity of gambling - by playing pokies, or fruit machines - to carry a USB stick that contains details of a their personal, government-appointed gambling limit, plus their personal details and fingerprints and will also require all establishments that house pokies to be able to access this data.

Wow ! This is wrong on so many levels that, even though I do not gamble, if this does indeed go ahead I think I may just stick my head in the oven and turn the fucking gas on.
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