Friday, 15 October 2010

Freak Off The Week VI

This week's freak comes from the good old US of A.
Land of the freaks and home of the brave.

The Daily Hate Mail, chortle, chortle, is casually reporting that "a U.S. judge is under investigation for allegedly filming herself in court in an attempt to land a starring role on a reality show".

What is the allure of this insanity known by the misnomer of 'reality stardom' these days ? What is it, what does it have,  that draws in freaks like a flame draws in moths ? Please tell me, I am somewhat in the dark on this one. How does it seem even remotely appealing to a successful career woman such as Superior Court Judge DeAnn Salcido ? Fucked if I know.

But anyway, Salcido is accused of filming the goings on that were going on in 'her' courtroom, without telling the defendants they were being taped. In one of the cases, Salcido thought it camera savvy to ask a defendant if he was born in 1980, after he responded 'yes,' the soon-to-be star told him "You look older than me. That's what smoking will do to you". In other cases the fame-hungry mole told defendants she would 'slam them like tidal waves' - Tidal waves ? Exactly how someone goes about slamming another like a tidal wave is fucking mystery to me. Any ideas ? - and also threatened some with jail time if they drank the wrong type of beer, 'Budweiser instead of Heineken' to be exact.
The judge later passed her cinematic efforts to a Hollywood - ahem - lawyer in the hope it would land her a show as a TV judge, as if one wasn't one too fucking many.

My good lady, you are a Superior Court judge for crying out loud, you have achieved an office that is far beyond the comprehension of your average reality TV star ! You are not some big-titted, z-list celebrity bimbo or some acne-faced, teenage Michael Jackson wannabe and you are definitely not George Galloway.
Reality TV is not for you... Freak !

Look into my eyes and listen, bitch ! There is room for only one.

Oh, and Budweiser and Heineken are both shit beers so no dreaming of a future in the beer-tasting business, Salcido.
That's my dream, get your own.

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