Sunday, 29 January 2012

Tattooed Oafs

An article in the online print today about reforms of some sort or another that will see people with visible tattoos barred from joining the Australian Police.

Assistant Police Commissioner of New South Wales, Michael Corby, who heads the Education and Training Command, said he believed visible tattoos, particularly those above the neckline, were a blight on the Police Force and asks the question;

"Does the community want someone knocking on their door with a Mike Tyson tattoo on their face or neck?"

Hell no, Mr Corby, Sir. I don't want some tattooed oafs at my door...
I'd much rather some gentlemen carrying semi-automatic weapons, billy clubs, pepper sprays, electric torture devices and handcuffs knocking at my door in the dead of night because I'm kind of fucked up in the head like that, see?

Another interesting observation was made by Paul Carey, head of the Professional Standards Command who says;

"Other aspects of the policy deal with specific types of tattoos, including tribal tattoos which could be seen as 'culturally insensitive'...There are a lot of tattoos written in another language, and who knows what they say? So that's something we also need to address."

Oh my good Lord. They haven't really thought any of this through, have they? If they had then they would have realised quickly enough that not only will people fluent in a language a tattoo is inked in always know what that tattoo says, but also that there is a slight hypocrisy about promoting the Police as being all multicultural and sensitive like, whilst at the same time putting the opposite into legislation.

Back to the drawing board perhaps?

Thursday, 26 January 2012

Cut And Paste

Australian Transport Minister, Anthony Albanese, putting on a performance worthy of an Oscar nomination during his recent National Press Club address.

And what was Prime Minister Julia Gillard's response to this embarrassing little episode?

"I love Michael Douglas because he's married to a Welsh woman. [Albanese] not bad either".

And I'm sure that as a Politician she simply can't help but admire Mr Douglas's acting skills either.
Now, can someone with some photoshop skills please get busy with the image below.

It shouldn't be too hard. Change the title, change the flag, change the names. Keep the clothes, keep the pose, keep the ginger hair and put a filthy minger in there. Done!

Saturday, 21 January 2012

It's Just Not Cricket

What is it with the offspring of Australian Police Commissioners?

I mean if they're not blowing themselves up during the production of Methamphetamine,  then they can be found at the cricket, letting loose a few punches on some bloke whilst private security guards hold him down.

Also at the cricket, the same ground just a week or so before in fact, here's former Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke showing us what originally endeared him to the average Aussie voter.

Sunday, 15 January 2012

Deliberate Mistakes

Pictured below is Alex Norris. He doesn't like mistakes being made and he's none to happy about the way you put your bins out.

No, seriously, they were fucking out here! Her bloody cans were all the fucking way out here!

"There will still be a fine there for people who deliberately make a mistake but it's going to be proportionate and if people settle it early it will be as little as £40." - Nottingham City Councillor Alex Norris

Deliberately make a mistake, eh?

Deliberately: Done with or marked by full consciousness of the nature and effects; intentional.

Mistake: An error or fault resulting from defective judgement, deficient knowledge, or carelessness.

Good grief! Is that an oxymoron?

Anyway, Alex also goes on to say:

"The Government talks about £1,000 prosecutions for people who leave bins out by accident. Now actually to have been given a fixed penalty notice [£110] in the first instance you must have left your bin out four times and to get the £1,000 fine you must have not paid that notice.

No one seems to pay much notice these days, Alex. No one.

Now then, where was I?

Unfortunate Picture Caption Of The Day

A warning to parents indeed!

All praise to the Ambush Predator for first pointing me in the direction of this hilarious article.

Being lectured by Fat Albert Abbott on the dangers of obesity?
My goodness! When will it end? My sides hurt! Hey, hey, hey!!!


Sunday Morning Easy Listening On Groompy FM

Saturday, 7 January 2012

Emotional Damage

That's exactly what French fans of Michael Jackson are suing Doctor Conrad Murray over.

Is it just me, or are these people fucking emotionally damaged retarded?

Sunday, 1 January 2012

Sunday Morning Easy Listening On Groompy FM

To all of you, whether or not you agree with my rantings.
This Blog will fire up again in this new year, in which I wish ALL OF YOU well.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...