Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Well, Just Fuck Off Then!

No not you, dear reader.

The fucking Pork-Chop pictured below, I mean.

Yes You, Abdul Tiba.
You can just fuck off back to Lebanon, son.
You won't be missed.

"I tell them I want to go back, I don't want to stay in this shit country."

Then fuck off!

"No one helps me in this country, no police, not any community, no St Vincents, no one."

Oh poor you!
Could I help in some way?
Do you need directions to the nearest airport, where upon arriving you could buy a ticket, hop on the very first plane, taxi up the tarmac, prepare for take off and then just fuck right off?

"I've been sleeping in the car. They give me two days in a motel like a fucking gypsy."

What was that? "In a motel like a fucking gypsy"
But Gypsies don't stay in motels.
Gypsies travel about having a good old jolly at the expense of...
Oh now I see. You mean in an Australian taxpayer funded motel.
A motel where you could always just, well you know, check out, leave us to foot the bill and just fuck the fucking fuck off!

But what is it exactly that Abdul Tiba doesn't like about the oh so fucking lucky to have him country?

Well, in his own words:

"Australia country they bring on 2006 from Lebanon all the citizenship, they spend 20 million thousand dollars but no one can spend $1000 to save my family."

And what is it that the Australian taxpayer should spend 20 billion hundred ten nine eight seven six five four three two one and fucking zero dollars on to save Pork Chop and his family from?

Well that would be an escalating gang-war that he and his family are allegedly involved in.

Well, as I said...

Not because you're an immigrant, not because you're Lebanese, not even because you're yet another bearded, middle aged, male, Islamic arsehole making life hard for every other arsehole...

But simply because you dare to come over here and start shooting shit up like some type of outlaw with a big fucking beard.

That's fucking why!

Only Ned Kelly can get away with that shit and he never went squealing to the coppers to protect him and his family.

Which is why we love him and not you.

Now, watch the door on your way out.


Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Waiting In Arrivals For Allah

Perhaps his flight was delayed.
Maybe due to volcanic ash.
Which would serve him right for making volcanoes.
. .

Monday, 20 June 2011

A Kronic Overreaction

Those of you who haven't been bombarded endlessly with state-sanctioned propaganda about the unfathomable dangers of synthetic cannabinoids should think yourselves lucky.

For those of us unlucky enough to live in Australia it's been a nightmarish couple of months of endless newspaper columns, radio segments and news items about how the latest craze of smoking something for personal enjoyment is akin to mowing down puppy dogs while drink-driving above the speed limit and it's been gone about with such, almost religious-like, fervour that it felt like being stuck inside one of those 'Evil Weed' films of the 1930s like Reefer Madness or Assassin Of Youth.

An interesting little journey to say the least but not at all surprising in its outcome.

That outcome of course being that the righteous bansturbators have once again saved us from ourselves and synthetic cannabinoids are now banned in Western Australia, with the rest of Australia soon to follow suit. Remember; this is a country whose government seriously considered trying to outlaw 'planking'. For those who don't know planking is basically lying down. Quite how they would go about outlawing lying down escapes me but I'm guessing it would probably involve bright lights and cattle prods. The Primespinster of Australia, Julia Gillard, even got in on the act by bringing herself down to the level of a teenage hoodlum and commenting on the planking craze.
Churchill fought Hitler, Gillard fights lying down.

Anyway, so the interesting part of the journey was not the end but rather the beginning and the middle, the parts when Kronic and the other legal highs were still, well, legal.
My own dear Father's first reaction, upon hearing that our local delicatessen was selling this over the counter, was

"What? Our deli? So they're selling it to schoolchildren then".

Quite when our family took ownership of a Vietnamese-run delicatessen and how he knew for certain that our employees were selling Kronic to kids, I'm not sure. But such is the wisdom of the baby boomers that I never bothered to question it.
And it became nothing short of fascinating to observe the state having to deal with something they never expect to happen any more i.e. That people may disregard all the government health warnings, all the noises being made from taxpayer-funded concern-groups and go ahead and engage in something that is frowned upon yet completely legal, even something that involves inhaling smoke and getting high.
All the usual tactics were employed but nothing seemed to work. Think of your fitness for work! They cried. Think of your lungs! They wailed. Think of the children! They screamed. But still the workers smoked away. Stoned and happy in the knowledge that these drugs wouldn't show up on any workplace drugs test.

But the Nanny State does know best and the Nanny State won't be outdone - not least when the multi-billion dollar mining industry is pressuring it to act and certainly not when there's money to be made - so when all else failed it just ignored the fact that these drugs were still legal and in showing its true colours it resorted to the old fashioned, heavy handed, tried and tested method of getting its attack dogs in the Police Force to threaten and intimidate people out of engaging in a perfectly legal activity.
The Western Australian health minister, Kim Hames, when commenting on the above outrage, showed us all that not only is he a prat with a girly name but that he also struggles to understand the difference between 'inappropriate' and 'illegal' by moaning

"I just think it's inappropriate - the reality is that we are going to ban a substance that causes harm to people and they're out there promoting it as though it's a wonderful thing".

Unless I am mistaken, it was also Kim Hames who said Kronic use was rife in Australian prisons, without having any proof whatsoever that that was the case and also said he didn't feel for retailers who will suffer after Kronic became outlawed because they 'ran the risk' of selling it whilst it was still legal to do so. By that twisted logic I guess he wouldn't take pity on dairy farmers should milk ever fall foul of his Health Nazis. But really, would you expect compassion from someone who is part of a government-sanctioned program to pump thousands of school kids full of Ritalin and Dexamphetamine in order to make them more manageable in the classroom?

As I said earlier; The Nanny State knows best and won't be outdone...

...Or will it?

According to some sites there will be new formulations of synthetic cannabis launched soon and these will enable Australians to once again reach a legal high.

But only the government didn't see that one coming.


Friday, 10 June 2011

Get It While It's Hot!

This particular clip doesn't seem to last very long out here in cyberspace...

Perhaps that has something to do with the naturally occurring censorship that pollutes the aquifer from which we drink.


Thursday, 9 June 2011

Of Special Police And Naughty Words

Blogging has been a bit light as of late and this is in no small part due to the fact that Australian-based bloggers are now being watched by the 'special' police and that swearing is now a crime downunder...

No, just fucking kidding. I really couldn't give a toss whether my blog is 'being monitored' by a bunch of window-licking freedom-hating cuntbubbles or not and, just in case it isn't fucking clear enough, I will continue to exercise my right to free speech in using profanity, even if that does make me some type of cunting criminal.

On those anti-swearing laws, the headline so far just has to be Heathen Scripture's

And the lost freedom of swearing has of course been added to the growing list of Freedoms Lost.

Anyway, changing the subject just slightly, here is a video that implies that Jesus is not just your run-of-the-mill zombie, but an overly-jealous stalking zombie hell bent on making you suffer for not loving him.
Interesting take on it all, I think.

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