Saturday, 24 July 2010

A cricket ball over a fence and the Plod lose their marbles.

Kids being kids, playing cricket/football/tennis/newly invented game in the street.
Ball over the fence of that old hag that's warned you and your mates countless times that 'next time, I'll keep it'.
Sound familiar ?
Of course it does.

There is most probably no-one reading this right now, no matter where on this Earth they come from, no matter how wretched their upbringing, who can not relate to that scenario.
But that was then and this is now and this is England, last month.

One particular old hag of North Baddesley, Hampshire, grew sick to death of the local tiddlywinks using her back fence to mark the boundary for '6' and finally kept that promise to confiscate their ball.
Dirty snitch Andrew Cocking, father of said tiddlywinks and of three doors down from said old hag, then put on the most awe inspiring display of how not to teach your kids respect and decided to call in the police.
Plod arrive in force, drag old hag down the nick, question her for five god-damned fucking hours, take her mug-shot, fingerprint her, take her DNA and, if not due to lack of budget and know-how, probably would of scanned her fucking irises then cut her open to see what makes her tick.
Local rags then get hold of the story, the Plod are once again rudely awakened from their totalitarian wet dream and realise...

'Oh fuck it, not again ! Quick, damage control, damage controoooooooooool !!!

Plod then sent round more plod to old hag's house to issue a press statement on old hag's behalf which read:

"I think this whole thing has been blown out of all proportion but I believe the action taken at the time were appropriate and proportionate.
It was never my intention to keep the cricket ball and permanently deprive, but, I had to make a stand, enough is enough! I was not happy at being arrested but I now understand why it was necessary for the police to do that. I also recognise that children have to play somewhere and they are not always aware of the impact their play can have on others. Maybe we have all learnt something from this.
I now want to put all this behind me and carry on living happily once more within my community

FUCK OFF ! That's got 'forced statement' written all over the fucking thing !!!

Big-Brother Watch, , hit the nail square on it's mushroomed head when they say “The police preparing statements for suspects is the stuff of East German show trials, not democratic Britain”.

Although Big-Brother Watch do seem to have somehow not yet realised we are now living in the 'post-democratic era'.

I do despair at times, I really fucking do.

Rating on the groompymeter ? 4/10 – You fucking what !?!

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